turn negative into positive.. stay focus and do it for yourself.

let's see..


well today.. i had an agenda for me to do.. basically a list of things that my mom wanted me to do for her.. and here it goes:

Oh and i took my grandma ( my dad's mom) with me btw.. *FYI*

- go to the federal bank union, pay her bill.
- go to wamu and deposit some money for her.
- go to costco and get gas for my car ( cuz it's so darn cheap over there.. i had only 4-5 sticks of gas left on my car and i filled up with premium gas *91* it cost me 17 bucks full tank.)
- me and my grandma went to PHO SO 1 to eat for lunch.
- go to CONCORDE college and inquire about their RT program. ( respiratory Theraphy)

It was nice hanging out with my grandma because it made me feel like a little kid again. cuz with her she just keeps talking and talking about life and talking about situations and jumping from one thing and another.. so everything that we went or did went fast because i got pre occupied with her.. She's 72 years old but still strong and still look young.

Then after everything we've done we went to my soulmate's house cuz turns out that my brother shoes that he ordered had came so me and my grandma went to there to pick it up. oh yea.. if ya'll wonderin who's my soulmate is her name is alyzzah nicole. *FYI*

it was pretty cool cuz my grandma got to meet my soulmate's parents and they talked and i just watched and man, my grandma seriously when she starts with a conversation.. you have to pull her out cuz she'll keep going and going and going... she's like my grandmagizer bunny! haha.. i should buy her one of them small drums and wrap around her.. lolz.. jk.

so.. about the concorde inquiry, i went there.. it was a pretty small decent lookin school.. very exclusive.. i saw a lot of students with scrubs and it made me imagine myself doing what they're doing.. honestly.. at this point.. i really regret that i didnt went through and finish the nursing program with my brother.. so at least my parents can be truly happy.. neways.. i'll get to that topic after this..
so i came to the school.. and it's funny cuz when i went in.. there was a guard sitting down a little chair and when i pulled up i asked him " where's the visitor's parking?" and he goes and say " oh you gotta park outside the street.." and i'm like.. "heck no i 'm parking on a street.." so just kept going and drove inside.. pretended i was going to turn around.. and then i found a spot by the faculty parking and parked in between a big SUV.. so he couldnt see me.. haha.. i thought that was funny.. but i was kinda scared though because i thought he was going to go come and look for me and tow my car.. but blessedly ( dunno if there's a word, i just dont want to say luckily cuz i dont believe in luck but only in JESUS CHRIST!) he wasnt able to find or probably didnt even try cuz he was so chillax on his chair. hehe.. so me and my grandma went inside the school and i signed in a "sign in sheet" and then i waited to be called in. hehe... .my grandma.. she kept smiling at this filipino couple who were i think trying to inquire for the school also.. so on their way out they said "hello po, kamusta po?" ( means hi.. how are you in tagalog) to her.. then few minutes later a lady came in and called me and we went to her office and talked. Her name was jackie and she was pretty nice.. the only thing is she was pretty straight forward and just asked me of what do i want to do... she was like.. "so what's d deal with you? what you want?" but she didnt really say those words.. it's just the impression i got from her. so neways.. to make this long story short.. she explained to me that:

- there's only 4 spots left for the program
- it starts this march
- i gotta take an assesment test.. and it's a pass or fail.. if i pass.. i start the program this march.
- and i gotta sign up for a loan because the schooling cost 40,000 dollars.

sigh*.. i couldnt decide on the spot.. because i know i can do it.. it's just it was such a big decision.. and all i had with me was myself and my grandma.. not that my grandma wasnt a good help.. but i felt better if my parents was there and my brother backing me up. She kept asking me.. when? when are you planning to sign up.. and i held back and said to her i'll call back or something or come back.. and she said.. make sure you call me.. so i guess she gets comission to the students she signs up.. I felt so pressured that i couldnt decide.. i was scared.. because i dont want to get into something that i aint fully ready to do.. i mean.. seriously.. i wish that the schooling was free.. or the government could pay off my schooling or something.. because at least in that way i'd feel at ease..

Then i went home.. and i fell asleep.. seriously this cold weather is probably the reason why i keep going to sleep... cuz honestly i dont think i'm jet lag anymore. maybe a little bit.. well the only thing that's making me feel that way is cuz no matter what time i go to sleep, wether early or late.. meaning early *7-10pm and late 12am, i wake up at 4 something in the morning. then when i woke up.. i went down.. and saw my parents.. and right away i knew.. my mom was going to talk to me about what happened... so here it goes..

i told her of what happened at concorde college.. and i told her how i backed down from signing up because for 1.. i cant afford 40,000 dollars for schooling.. 2. the mere fact that i'm going to school full time i cant do because i got bills and i got to work so i can have money to pay bills and everything else i need. and 3. i just couldnt really decide on to go through it because the lady wanted me to take the assesment test on friday already and i wanted some time to study at least and prepare myself.. sigh*.. so after that i told my mom.. she seemed so dissappointed.. like i totally failed everything already.. honestly.. like i really want this.. i want to be a respiratory therapist not because of my brother, not because of what people been telling me to do.. but because it's really what i want to do. i want to do this for me.. and my own future..

My second option is that to go to valley college and do it there and get the board of government so i dont have to pay for anything.. i know that my parents and i will qualify for it every semester that i go there.. then i'ma work at quest diagnostics.. which i'm really claiming from GOD as a job that i can have which require's me less of work and no lifting. that money i will get from work is for me to pay my bills and my books.



wow.. this is probably the longest i've ever blogged here.. but neways.. i feel a lot better now that i got this off my chest.. ima go probably to the gym and play the sport that takes me away from all the troubles in the world even for just a short time.. *basketball.* and also ima work out and get toned.. i gotta prepare for this december when i go home to philippines.



neways. i just want to say... "THANK YOU" to JESUS.. for always giving me wisdom and positive outlook in life..


this reminder will always put me at ease.. " WHO'S IS IT?" it's the three letter word that my uncle bobot reminded me which gives me confidence that no matter what happens in life.. i'm going to be ok.. because God owns me and everything that i have and everything about me.



aloha au io i. you know who you are and you know it's you i'm saying this for..



until next time.. thanks for reading..



- jeffpaulo.

back to reality.

so from december 28th 2008 till january 15th 2009 i went home to the philippines because,


1. to get my dad's mom ( my grandma on my dad's side) to come here to the united states of america.

2. also to take a family vacation and spend christmas and new years and my 24th birthday back home to the motherland and also play basketball.


coming back to reality feels weird.. i'm still kinda jet lag.. i sleep.. like around 12 and then i wake up randomly at 4 am.. and when i sleep.. it feels like i just took a nap.. but throughout the day i'll be ok until around 6 - 7 pm. i get so sleepy around there..

at the moment i dont have a job, and my mom found out about my credit card debt of 1,000 dollars.. but surprisingly she was ok with it.. she even said she'd help me pay it off.. because she doesnt want me to ruin my credit.. cuz she know's that i'm the only one left that have good credit between me my brother and my dad and my mom. I'm so thankful for my parents. not just because of what they can do, give and act to me.. but for everything that they sacrifice.. currently my dad has a fever and wasnt able to go to work.. i pray that he heals up and get's better.. i seriously need to finish school and make this Respiratory Theraphy work so that i can help them out to retire and rest.

i feel so loved. i seriously am convinced that i have found my soulmate.. many of you all doubters out there may not agree.. but i dont.. i'm completely convinced.. that alyzzah nicole raymundo is the one for me.. like we've been put to the test so many times in our lives.. it's been 5 years.. and still on going.. and our love for each other hasnt changed.. it even grows stronger and stronger and stronger.. seriously.. i dont even care.. because to us, we dont need labels to know where we stand between each other's heart.. to us, we define.. what's real and true love means.. just look at what we have.. and you'll see.. true and genuine unconditional love for each other..


i cant wait till i make her the happiest woman alive.. and spend the rest of my life with her till eternity..



well.. i just got back from the gym.. pretty tired and sore.. tomorrow.. going to try to find a job..


spiritually.. while i was in the philippines.. it was awesome.. oh btw.. december 28,2008.. rededication of my life to CHRIST.. and since then.. everything has been great.. GOD has been blessing me more and more.. i cant even contain everything he has done for my life.. everyday i strive to do my best for HIM.. read his word and follow his plans..



one testimony i want to share that my uncle gave to me and really inspired me..


everytime you guys are in doubt in life and feel that everything else dont work out.. just ask yourself this question..


WHO'S IS IT NEWAY?

the answer is..

everything we have and we own in this life... is GOD's. so dnt fret.. because he will take care of everything..



GOD BLESS YOU ALL..




aloha au io i.. alyzzah nicole raymundo..




- jeffpaulo.